Okay! I get it! The movie was crap and Michael Bay is a doushebag! I get it alright?! Fuck! You guys are like damn narcs about it, dissing on the movie has instantly become as redundant as all the shots at Michael Jackson about the alledged pedophilia bullshit (God rest his soul, he will be missed). My point is stop your bitching, it ain't making the movie any better! God this is worse than when Beast Wars was first coming out (people complained about the designs of robots turning into organic beasts), and then there was Beast Machines (oh man did they complain about that), and yet no one complained about the half-assed Robots in Disguise (which they should have).

I like Spoony, he is one of my favorite internet personalities right now but I feel his review of ROTF [link] was a bit ridiculous at the end, he was not exagerating persay (and his analysis was rather justified as it was entertaining) it's just that I call bullshit about some of the movies he says he'd rather watch over ROTF. His primary basis being the movie length, ROTF is long, but the movie length of a bad movie is irrelevent in retrospect cause even a few minutes of any of the bad movies he mentioned are too much to bear (I seriously doubt you'd actually sit through even a minute of any of them). If you say you'd rather watch something like Troll 2 over ROTF, then you better well damn grab a copy of Troll 2 and put it in your VCR/DVD right now and sit through the entire thing and like every hellish soul-killing second of it!

Of course, while the movie is crap at it's coreand Bay should get the shit kicked out of him, it was still a very popular to the general public and managed to make some serious bank. Why you might wonder? One possibility is that Bay himself is in league with the Decepticons and this was a sinister plot to steal enough capital to buy all the Energon they want (in fact the Decepticons were in the theatres themselves making these people watch the movie at gunpoint).

I liked ROTF personally just as I liked the first one but like I said I am well aware it is crap. It is clear to me that Michael Bay should not have been the man behind this project, he was given too much freedom and everything that went wrong was his goddamn fault. Still I still enjoyed myself watching them (I have seen far worse than this, trust me) and in the end I have to except these movies as the official Transformers movie because of three things;
1.) I have neither the right or the privilage to bitch and complain as I have neither the will nor the reason to actually do something about it.
2.) No one else is actually stepping up to right the wrongs that have been made by Bay's "masterpieces"...and by stepping up I mean actually making a good Transformers movie (just as Chris Nolan did with the Batman franchise).
3.)They are the only ones we got....


...and no, I will not accept the original 1986 animated feature film as a Transformers movie...no...I refuse to even acknowledge it's existence because without a single doubt in my mind (as a Transformers fan) that it is the WORST PIECE OF RETRO INTERGALACTIC PIGSHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!! Above all else, it was nothing more than a glorified toy comercial meant to get kids so hyped over the new line of toys that were to replace the current line when it first came out. To me this movie is in the same vein as Pokemon the First Movie and Space Jam, and no I would not rather watch either of those two films over this insult of a TF film, it's all fucking shit that I despise with every fiber of my being and I sure as hell would not watch any of these movies ever again (I'm putting in Dark Knight bitches)! It may not have countless racy jokes, racial stereotypes, Devastator sporting a pair of balls or a full shot of John Turturro's ass...but I still found plenty of stuff to be utterly DISGUSTED with in this animated movie.

What pisses me off the most is that what is pretty much the greatest contributions to the TF lore and what is considered to be the most brilliant tragic scene in all of cinema was pretty much wasted on one of the most badly written and horribly dialoged stories imaginable, so bad it makes even Space Jam look like Citizen Cain! I won't bother comparing it to Star Wars or even say it rips it off, the very core of the Star Wars story has been done countless times before and is still timeless, but even the similarities to Star Wars are pretty much wasted on this shitty script. And of course there's Optimus Prime's death, bold, unexpected and brilliant I must say but all in all it's pretty much the same as the Smooth Criminal segment in Moonwalker, the only part of the movie worth watching sandwiched between two slices of dog feces that is the rest of the movie and in no way is enough justification to even watch it ever again. On top of that, this assload movie has what could possibly be the most awesome hair metal ballads of the decade ever and the best animation to be found for a Transformers production, in the end it is a colossal tragedy that such a shitty film gets to have awesome music and animation, it just kills me inside thinking about it. AND WHY ARE THE DINOBOTS SO GODDAMN STUPID?! I HATE IT WHEN THE DINOBOTS ARE STUPID! GRIMLOCK IS THE COOLEST AUTOBOT EVER AND DOES NOT DESERVE SUCH DISGRACEFUL CHARACTERIZATION AND PIGEON-TOEING.

And y'know what?! You people better shut the hell up about Skids and Mudflap, you people don't know shit about what a TRUE "Jar Jar Binks" character really is......and yes, I am refering to G1 Wheelie, that goddamn little fucktard that even his own creator Floro Dery despises him! He may have only a few minutes of screen time in total but those few minutes pretty much last an enternity EACH, an eternity in the fiery pits of a searing hell where this rhyming fucker is the devil! Like I said, the total length of a bad movie is irrelavent on retrospect>_<.

Fuck it, I hate this goddamn movie on so many levels, I am so glad I never saw it as a kid cause if I did I would now feel genuine remorse and regret for ever have liked it at all (just as I do with fucking Space Jam>_<. I don't see why these fans still praise this film. To you G1 fanboys, do me a favor; take the damn nostalgia goggles off and take a good long look at what the 1986 film really is, a malicious marketing campaign that was designed to kill off your most beloved characters and replace them with someone else entirely, the people responsible would gladly have left Optimus dead and gone forever were it not for your plees and outbursts. To those who still hold this 1986 piece of crap so close to your hearts even after all these years, I seriously pity you. Hell man, to those who would gladly and proudly choose G1 Wheelie over ROTF Wheelie....you're pretty much dead to me.

"Wheelie say fuck off today!"